In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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