When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize