God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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