Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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