I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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