just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize