fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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