my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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