break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
