And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
