I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize