Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
