i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize