yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
