Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
