She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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