Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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