I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
