The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
