I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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