Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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