I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
