At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
