When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
