Cold hands, warm shart.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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