I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Randomize
