my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
