so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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