I am puke
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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