I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
