think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
