3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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