This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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