at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
sex in a hospital.. check
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's shark week go big or go home
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
