I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
