mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
