Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
