I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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