i permit you to call me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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