you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We're too hungover to prance.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize