Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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