I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
3pm strippers are depressing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
