Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
