I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
