this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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