I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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