idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
