Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think your dad took our porno
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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