Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
