hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
