So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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