I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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