dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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