He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hate all girls vehemently.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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