It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
where are my eyebrows?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
