Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The Olympian is in my bed
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
