ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
