if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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