it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize