Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
