wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
